Sheik Mustafa Karim Ali Hassan Al-Nadim was a brilliant alchemist born in 792 who devoted his life to healing humanity rather than seeking wealth through gold-making or immortality. Expelled from the palace alchemists for refusing to pursue the Philosopher’s Stone, he continued his research working as a dishwasher in the palace kitchens.

At age ninety-three, Mustafa learned from a scientific journal that sharks can regrow teeth. He created a gel from powdered shark teeth and plant and animal derived tinctures. Vitamins and mineral supplements were added to the recipe to help with the anxiety caused by the election of the sultan. Mustafa was old and had no teeth. He prayed to Allah, to grow teeth for him so he could help humanity by giving people their teeth back. Indeed, within a week, Mustafa regrew a full set of teeth brighter than pearls at the bottom of the sea. He immediately ran to the suq and he distributed the rub freely to everyone. Mustafa instructed people to pray to their “true faith.” Yet none of them regrew teeth, and Mustafa died in disgrace at the age of 163.

Centuries later, our researchers recreated  the formula from a surviving tabloid account. More than 90% of the plants and animals mentioned in the recipe are extinct now. We used synthetic substitutes for those ingredients. In trials, only a few patients regrew teeth. One successful patient, an atheist Wall Street broker, revealed that he had prayed for his investments to double, suggesting that “true faith” meant each person’s deepest belief, not necessarily a certain religion.

Our company now offers the tooth-regrowth rub free of charge. We make money for our investors by helping people discover their true faith. Mustafa’s faith was healing humanity. Our company’s faith is that we can make the world a cool place by giving the teeth back to the people so that everyone can sink their teeth into it.